inbox + overflow

[theknightshift]

Text

audio

video

Comments

[oversight]

Are you sure? I don't want you to feel weird or whatever.

[theknightshift]

I won't. I've been in more awkward situations than this.

[oversight]

Great. And now I know what to ask about at dinner.

[theknightshift]

You don't read the tabloids?

[oversight]

God no. Not for anything more important than Sasquatch's baby. I guess I do occasionally hear from the rumor mill, but I take it all with a grain of salt.

[theknightshift]

If you want to be up to date on my personal life, you should pick up a few.

sorry for the delay – I was out of town, but back now!

[oversight]

Is there a reason I couldn't just go to the source?

Welcome back!

[theknightshift]

I don't share all of my secrets on the first date.

ty!

[oversight]

On average, how many auctions is it going to take for me to know half the secrets?

[theknightshift]

I'll run out of money.

[oversight]

Wow. Consider me impressed. Are you sure I can't find another way to weasel the information? There's got to be something between tabloids and bankruptcy.

[theknightshift]

Ply me with a few good martinis. That might help.

[ no it won't, but John doesn't need to know that. ]

[oversight]

You're giving me pro tips? Nice. Too bad a few good martinis would put me under the table and I wouldn't remember a thing. Or maybe that's the plan.

[theknightshift]

We'll save the martinis for the second date then.

[oversight]

That's perfect because I think your tabloid friends will catch on by then. A double-whammy of drunk and public sounds like an elegant recipe for disaster.

[theknightshift]

[ Bruce being a disaster for the tabloids is like his job these days. ]

It won't be a true disaster unless they catch me streaking again.

Allegedly.

[oversight]

Sorry, about when did this happen? If you could give me a month and a year, that would be great. Not for any reason, certainly not for the purposes of locating back issues.

[theknightshift]

They can't prove that's my ass in those shots. Just so you're not disappointed.

[oversight]

Sorry, disappointed about which part? The journalistic integrity? The provenance of the ass? The realization after the fact that the asses don't match? These signals are so mixed, they might start naming a drink after you.

[theknightshift]

That it's not my ass. Since you seemed so interested in seeing it.

[oversight]

Eventually, we all show our asses. One way or another.

[theknightshift]

Very true.

Would you prefer to go out or have dinner at the manor? Asking so I'll know how much extra I'll have to pay Alfred for this.

[oversight]

How about dinner at my place? I feel like that would be the cheapest option that people would expect the least. And no butlers needed.

[theknightshift]

That works. Assuming I win the auction, of course.

[oversight]

I swear, if you don't win and I end up arm candy to some crone, I am cancelling our friendship.