inbox (etraya)

[theknightshift]

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[copsormasks]

Depends on who you talk to. [Jason doesn't want to throw Damian under the bus any more than he already has, so he keeps it mum. Maybe it's more about what he hasn't done. How he's stuck in his trauma again and again and again.]

Can I ask you something?

[theknightshift]

[ Bruce is already aware of Jason's fight with Damian. The particulars are not entirely clear, but Bruce has already decided they weren't necessary to understand why they'd fought. Just that it happened. ]

Of course.

[ Whether or not he'd answer is another matter entirely. ]

[copsormasks]

Do you get along with your Jason back home? Is he chill like the other Jason here?

[Jason desperately wants to move into that space, to be mentally okay with his murder, to be able to forgive his Bruce back home for leaving Jason when he most needed him.

Recently he's been feeling pretty hopeless about his fate. If he can't figure out how to change his stripes now, then he'll end up doing some terrible things.]

[theknightshift]

We're on good terms now.

[ He'd considered bringing Jason in on his current investigation. Someone to relate to the kids Asema seemed to be targeting and could make it easier to suss out who they would target next. Or at least set them at ease if Bruce decides rounding them up and putting them in one place is the best option. ]

But we weren't always.

[copsormasks]

Can I ask what helped?

[Jason is unsure that he'll ever be partners with this Bruce, or even on the best of terms, but maybe there's some hope.]

If you know. What is it him who changed, or you?

[theknightshift]

[ it's as comforting to hear as it is difficult to answer. Bruce could sense Jason wanting to avoid whatever he thought he knew about Bruce and Jason's relationship. It's admirable. ]

We both did. I had to accept Jason as the person he is now. Not who he used to be.

[ He stops working while he considers what to say next. ]

He had to accept that there are certain lines I will not cross.

[copsormasks]

[That’s an interesting reply. Jason goes quiet as he thinks. He’d have to accept that neither Bruce will kill the Joker for him, or even his Bruce. If he allowed himself that, would the Bruces be able to accept him as he is?

Jason settles on that question,]

Do you think you could accept me? I know I’m fucked up and angry.

‘m not asking to be Robin. I’m not asking to be any kind of sidekick.

I mean me. As I am.

[theknightshift]

[ The question sticks because it was so often the crux of his disagreements with Jason. His inability to accept him, to accept reality. For a moment, he thinks of a suit in glass, blood still smeared across the R on the chest piece. A Good Soldier on the plaque underneath. ]

I already have, Jason.

[copsormasks]

[Jason doesn’t believe Bruce. Not even slightly. Maybe Bruce is talking about his Jason from back home that he’s made up with, but definitely not him. Not the 19-year-old mess that Jason is now.]

Now why do I seriously fucking doubt that.

[The question is rhetorical, but it still is a question.]

[theknightshift]

It's true.

[ He's already done the work. The heavy lifting. Even if the circumstances aren't identical, they're similar enough that he's confident in the person Jason can become once he's through the worst of it. He's seen him.

He turns to look at Jason, puts a hand on his shoulder so he'd know Bruce means what he's about to say. ]

I know you're a good person, Jason. The Joker didn't take that away from you.

[copsormasks]

[Jason flicks his gaze down to the hand on his shoulder before looking up at Bruce. The instinct to reject what Bruce says rises up first. Maybe as Robin he was a good person, someone who could really kick some ass. But as Jason Todd? The kid who spent more time in foster homes and on the street than with his parents?

Jason Todd is nothing.

It would be nice to be able to believe Bruce.]

Yeah, okay.

[He huffs out before shaking his head.]

[theknightshift]

[ He isn't mind reader, but it doesn't take one to see Jason doesn't believe him. Bruce turns back to his belt, back to taking inventory. ]

He said once that Robin gave him magic. But, no. It was always the other way around.

[copsormasks]

[Jason frowns at that because he's said that phrase almost word for word in his sessions with Leslie.]

But I was just a kid who ate out of dumpsters and stole tires to pay rent.

[theknightshift]

You did what you needed to do to survive. That doesn't take away the good you do.

[ He says it with conviction. ]

[copsormasks]

[Jason goes quiet and looks away from Bruce.]

I'm not Robin anymore. In fact, worse, I'm dead. What good am I supposed to do from the grave?

[theknightshift]

Are you dead here?

[ He looks at him pointedly. ]

You don't have to be Robin to do good things for people.