theknightshift | inbox (etraya)

[ Bruce lets the question sit because he does not like what it implies. He lets it sit because he does not want to relive any of those memories. But he's asked and he expects an answer. Bruce could lie, and let this conversation die here. But he can't.

He just can't. ]

I do. Do you?

Would I ask if I did not?

( it's a hypothetical question, of course, because there are others around who could have mentioned the name to him. others who could have told him about what happened, even if it's unlikely they would have given - no one from their family is particularly talkative. )

I returned home, for a short time.

[ For a minute it feels like Bruce's heart has stopped. It's just a minute, a blip in an otherwise ordinary day in Etraya. But it's a minute too long when it feels like he's forgotten how to breathe. But he collects himself and puts all of the rage and grief pouring out of an old wound away. It's not productive here. ]

Tell me what happened.

[ He knows exactly what happened. It lives in his head like a movie reel he can't turn off. But maybe, he hopes, it's different this time. A different ending that doesn't cut so deeply. ]

( being the son of bruce wayne means many things. there's the innate sense of responsibility. the legacy of which he was born into. the mess of emotions that comes with forever feeling like he isn't good enough, he has to try harder, but also acknowledging that despite his father being batman, he isn't perfect either. there's the sense of needing absolute control while also acknowledging that bruce, too, needs control over every little aspect of their lives he can get his fingers around - so damian needs to let go a little, to let his father's iron grip tighten just that much more.

it's complicated in many ways, several of which damian hadn't learned to cope with until after he arrived to etraya. until after he'd returned home, and several near life-ending, world-altering events left them growing significantly closer than they had been when damian had been grayson's robin. back when they had all thought bruce was dead.

then there's this. the significant pause between responses that lets damian know that bruce knows exactly what happened - because even if his father does not always respond immediately, he always sees the messages immediately. returning home is important enough to demand a near-immediate response, unless there's something there that he does not want to deal with. )

You told me to stay home, but I did not listen.

( there are countless bits of information that damian is skipping right over, but it's intentional. there is no mention of robin being retired temporarily due to the massive bounty placed on his head, nor of his father being convinced damian needed to return to talia or else damian would inevitably cause the destruction of gotham. there is no mention of the world-bomb trigger. of nobody before that, or the growing pains he and bruce had gone through.

because if bruce knows what he is referring to, he'll already know all of that as well. )

[ It starts slowly and Bruce can see every moment with a clarity he sometimes wishes he didn't have. He sees himself trapped in that sunken safe, tearing out the picks he keeps under his skin. He can feel the rain because it feels like needles when it pelts him in the face. Talia is in his ear, condemning their son. A flawed creation she said. A game he had lost by design.

He smells the blood.

It's overpowering. It's suffocating. But none of it matters because he can feel the dead weight of his child in his arms. He told him to stay home and Damian had not listened. They never listen. He wants to be angry and he is. Deeply and viscerally so. He is angry at Damian for not listening. And at Alfred for letting him go. And Talia for thinking Damian's life meant nothing. At himself for not being faster. Or stronger. Or smarter. If only he had been better, this wouldn't have happened. It wouldn't keep happening over and over and over again.

It wouldn't be happening now. ]

No, you didn't.

Edited 2026-03-12 02:02 (UTC)

( they're on the same page, then.

todd was useless when it came to information, but damian is not surprised. he's hardly the same jason todd damian is familiar with - neither of them are. the younger one is - fussier over near-nothing, the older one is less fussy than he should be. todd had suggested asking gordon, given damian's hesitance to approach grayson and his father.

but he would rather not.

at least this confirms bruce knows. it means damian can ask the question that's been on his mind for the last several days, eating away at him. )

Am I dead?

[ Nothing he wants to say feels good enough. Excuses for his failures. Platitudes that would ultimately mean very little. I'm sorry doesn't feel like it's enough. Saying nothing is not how he wants this conversation to end. And so Bruce powers through the pain. He breathes and says the only thing he can come up with. ]

You were.

Edited 2026-03-12 21:23 (UTC)

( were. it's a better answer than the alternative, he supposes. there's jon, who knows damian when he is older. whether or not they are from the same timeline is in question, but he wanted to - to confirm that he isn't as off as he could have been. you were means he came back. you were means he had died-died, too far gone for the lazarus pit to bring him back. he supposes that could be a good thing, too.

there are dozens of follow up questions he could ask, so much that has yet to be answered, but damian - chooses not to ask.

not like this anyway. )

I don't regret my decision.

( it's acknowledgement. he was dead, he knows that now for certain. but knowing doesn't mean he wouldn't do it again should he be put in the same situation once more. and knowing doesn't make him regret the choice he made to go out despite his father's orders. )

[ Damian does not ask his follow up questions and Bruce doesn't provide anymore details. The spiral afterward had not put him in a good place. Still, defying the Justice League and starting a war with Apokolips needed to be done. Bruce would have burned through every relationship he had to save his son.

He still would. ]

I know.

[ He's not surprised by Damian's reply. It's something Bruce admires about him. His near unbreakable conviction. ]

I'm proud of you, Damian.

( it's impossible to come up with a reasonable response to bruce. he could remind his father that it isn't damian, it's robin. the man should know that well enough by now, especially since it's his secret identity they are working so hard to keep. but he cannot think of anything else he could possibly add, here. thank you for believing in me, maybe, except bruce hadn't before damian had taken off. he does now. damian knows that. knows that the i'm proud of you isn't in response to his sacrifice, but to his unwavering will that he hadn't trusted before. he'd expected damian to fall back under his mother's wing. to become something he swore he wouldn't.

bruce knows now, to some extent. knew already, before damian had disappeared and returned before he'd noticed. he's voicing it now, because he recognizes it's damian who needs to hear it. damian who needs his father's approval, damian who tries so hard to be the kind of son who would make bruce proud.

the message sits for a long time, while damian mulls over how to answer. not acknowledging it at all is likely bruce's preference. it's damian's, too. unfortunately for them both, he's been taught better than that. )

Understood.

( even if he's dead - albeit temporarily if he is from bruce's universe - he's died proving himself to be a son worthy of batman. it's enough, for him. )

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