theknightshift | inbox (etraya)

( at some point, bruce falls asleep.

whether it's for a short and intentional power nap or an accidental rest at his desk, his eyes close, his shoulders loosen, and it's clear enough to damian that he is out for him to trust him being unconscious for a moment.

a moment in which damian uses to carefully and quietly sneak his way straight over to bruce, careful to remain absolutely silent as he approaches the man just to bring himself right in front of his father and - stare at him. eyes narrow under the domino mask he has still opted to leave on during all hours, and his mouth twists into a scowl - but he doesn't move to touch bruce. does not move himself any closer. give him a few more solid moments of silence, and damian is more than likely to turn himself back around, sift through bruce's things for a moment, then take off right back out the way he came in.

for now?

just the staring. )

[ At some point, Bruce does fall asleep.

His sleep habits haven't changed much, even if it's not completely necessary to keep his strange hours while Nova City is little more than a ghost town. But he wants to keep an eye on the Tower of Justice and Arkham and he can't do that if he sleeps like a normal person.

But after the mission is over, he finds himself exhausted. Maybe it's the lingering effects of the darkness. Maybe its the weight of just everything bearing down on him.

Whatever the cause, it makes Bruce's eyes heavy and he sits back in the chair he's sitting in and closes his eyes to give them a bit of respite. But not too long. Never too long. The thing is, he's not a heavy sleeper. Damian's entrance is as quiet as he can make it and if you weren't as paranoid as Bruce is, you wouldn't hear it. But Bruce does. He hears the quiet thud of his boots hitting the floor and the almost silent way he crosses the room. And when it stops, Bruce braces for an attack that does not come. So after a moment he opens an eye and looks at Damian standing there. ]

What do you need?

[ "Hello, Damian. Nice to see you." is what he meant to say. ]

There are bald patches on your head.

( he knows bruce knows because there is absolutely no way he has not noticed his hair falling out in patches but that's beside the point. his father asks him an inane question, damian offers an inane answer in response after being caught sneaking into his safe house whilst he rested his eyes. he'll need to work on being even more quiet next time, so bruce doesn't wake up next time damian decides he should sneak around while bruce slumbers.

there's no intent on attacking. it won't get him anywhere, and this clearly is not an opportune time for checking bruce's reflexes. not after the last mission, after their last conversation, when his father already looks like he's struggling as it is.

doesn't mean damian intends on going easy on him though. he considers keeping his mouth shut, teeth digging into the inside of his lower lip as he meets his father's eyes. remembers that last conversation. remembers his recent encounter with the littler jason todd.

settles for something less physically violent but no less heavy. )

Am I an inconvenience for you? Do you hate me?

( promising familial relationships and promising love are two entirely different things, as far as he's concerned. )

[ Bruce is well aware he's going bald, thank you. A parting gift from the last mission. But he doesn't intend to tell Damian he did not heed the AI's warning about staying in the dark. There were more pressing issues that made what happened to him in it secondary. Damian didn't need to know that.

So he doesn't even acknowledge the statement. Instead, he sits up straighter and almost sends Damian on his way if he didn't have anything more pressing than pointing out his thinning hair.

But then he asks That and Bruce has to look at him. ]

No, I don't hate you. Why would you ask me something like that?

Todd hates me. Drake has never liked me. Grayson grew accustomed to me out of necessity. ( none of which is in the least bit surprising to anyone involved. but it's what bruce doesn't answer that tells him all he truly needed to hear. ) You had not wanted another Robin. The expectations placed on me do not match those given to the others.

( question answered though, and he had already interrupted a nap. so damian starts making his way back to the window. )

Damian, wait.

[ Bruce pushes himself up and out of the chair so he can catch his son before he leaves. ]

I don't hate you. Or think you're inconvenient. [ Endlessly frustrating. Stubborn. Willful. Often disobedient, but never inconvenient. ] Why would you ever question that?

( next time he needs to approach bruce when he is deeper into his slumber. after he's entered rem sleep, then awaken him to ask questions. it might give him a few more moments to leave before the man manages to chase him down.

won't help him too much, but it will give more of an advantage. but he is being followed, and so he - takes a detour. ignores the window, and instead starts sifting through bruce's things. )

You said we were done if I did not listen to you. Mother did the same, then disowned and replaced me. You said I am your son but biology does not account for expendability.

Because you were riling up people we do not know on the network. I [ Don't have the Hellbat suit if they stop thinking Damian's antics are only mildly annoying. ] want you to be safe.

[ He's exasperated. Talia's influence is still rooted so deeply. How Bruce ever managed to untangle it is beyond him. He finds himself wishing Alfred was here. His co-parent would be better equipped for this conversation than he is. ]

But that doesn't change how I feel about you.

( he was riling up individuals intentionally, aiming for specific ones that he believed would be harmless enough if significantly more physically powerful than damian is. his point was proven correct when he sparred with nero, who could have tried to hurt him a lot more than he had, yet the boy hadn't so much as bothered to pull out a weapon. he did try to throw dante off balance at a later time, only to have his attempts trampled over and treated as if they were cute. like he was nothing more than a newborn cub swiping harmlessly at a full-grown beast of a lion who could not care less about the sharpness of teeth and claws digging into them. he knows now that if they do have to go after the sons and grandson of sparda, they will need significantly better weaponry than a sword and several batarangs, just as he knows, too, that they do see him as nothing more than a harmless babe whose intentions to maim will lead nowhere regardless of the amount of effort put into it.

but that's a later topic. one damian has been thinking over, especially after his last encounter with dante. after his conversation with nero.

damian knows what he's doing, most of the time. knows the haughty bravado of a small child is meant to be underestimated. knows he is no longer with the league and the name al ghul means nothing. no longer will damian be treated as a world-class assassin, at best he will be treated as any other robin had been by outsiders. at worst, a child who is well under the average height for others his age whose vocabulary doesn't match what one would anticipate from an eleven year old.

bruce should know that well enough too. that even if damian is wrong he is prepared to live with the repercussions of his actions. that he is capable of handling himself even if he's here now, and implying the opposite when he does manage to convince his mouth not to press together in an expression somewhere between an outright scowl and a tight-lipped grimace. )

You said you would rid yourself of me and said nothing when I left.

[ Bruce knows. He knows how capable Damian is. How well he's been trained and how he handles himself in dangerous situations. He's dragged him into many of them himself and had spent years watching him grow into someone capable. Someone Bruce is incredibly proud of. He knows. He's also seen him fall. Held his body in his arms and that empty Robin suit.

And what he went through to bring him back.

Damian knows what he's doing, Bruce doesn't doubt that. And that's the problem. Damian knows what he's doing and what happens if it isn't enough? ]

There are better ways to gain intel without putting yourself in harm's way.

[ Because if something happened to him, he would lose his mind. ]

That is not what I said.

It's exactly what you said! You said if I would not take orders, then I would be done!

( he's yelling, because this is bruce's space, they're far enough away from everything else that damian is not concerned with others overhearing, and if his father wants to shut him up, he is more than capable of doing so himself. his chin tips up, and while his tone is angry, it doesn't reflect on his face at all. instead, damian looks - sad? upset? frustrated, but it's deeper than just that. )

Were you planning on making me stay home all the time?! Because you can't! You can't take Robin from me, you cannot force me to sit out, at most you could refuse to be beside me which would do what! I would be alone! Is that what you want?

I asked you to stop doing one very specific thing, Damian, and you refused. How do you expect me to trust you when you won't listen?

[ he's calm in the wake of Damian's yelling and he can't decide if it's because he's too tired to yell back or if he's unwilling to match Damian's energy. It didn't matter in the end. Damian is angry and Bruce is frustrated and this conversation is likely going absolutely nowhere. ]

You're going to do whatever you want regardless of what I say. That's not the kind of partner I need and absolutely not the kind I want.

You commanded, you didn't ask!

( that's what bothers him. being told to do something without being given the option to do anything else but obey. he has been a soldier his entire life, given orders he was told not to question regardless of how he feels about them - he was told not to feel.

damian opens his mouth to yell, to bruce how unfair his expectations are, how damian cannot live up to them because they are unrealistic - but rather than words, he snaps his teeth shut and gives an irritated growl. )

If you do not want me, say it. Because I will not be your obedient toy soldier. That isn't what I left Mother for. If my autonomy is not an inconvenience, then stop acting like it is!

[ it seems pointless to argue the semantics of the conversation now. The result would be the same. Damian doesn’t take orders. And Bruce is left twisting in the wind. He misses Alfred. Terribly. ]

It’s not your autonomy that’s the problem. It’s your attitude. You are not invincible or infallible. And if something happens to you—-

[ he cuts himself off. Leaves that thought where it is. ]

I am asking you to stop.

( questions of his invincibility aside - )

Nero and I are friends ( he still says the word like it's a foreign concept to him, but damian is using it. ) now, his father and I worked together during the last mission, and I may need to request the Bat-tank to handle Dante but we are not on terrible terms.

( yet. it's a work in progress with the latter, but he's fine with the former two. )

Do you want me to stop making friends? I thought that was what you wanted.

[ Under normal circumstances? Bruce would have some praise to offer. But Damian's attempt to keep the argument going is not appreciated. So Bruce will point out the flaws instead. ]

You trust too easily.

I said we are friends. Not that I trust him.

( there is a significant difference between the two, as far as he's concerned. but that isn't the point of the conversation regardless, is it. )

Are you concerned?

Then he isn't your friend.

[ Bruce trusts Clark. Which was admittedly a difficult thing to do. He and Damian weren't too dissimilar. Calling someone a friend without it is disingenuous. ]

I'm always going to be concerned about you, Damian.

I barely trust Grayson. If we are going to add trust onto the list of requirements for friendship, how am I supposed to be expected to make any?

( he's no longer yelling. no longer sounding angry. just - bone-deep exhausted, and not merely physically. rather than on the verge of yelling and losing his temper, damian's shoulders hunch over a little, curling in closer to himself. it almost makes him look smaller. )

You asked, so I will stop.

I trust you, Damian.

[ Despite anything he's said in anger, Bruce has worked with Damian long enough to know how capable he is and what he can accomplish when he's not trying to be spiteful for the sake of it. Bruce regards him a moment, how small he seems and once again, it's like he just remembered Damian is only 11. ]

You should rest. You look tired.

( it would be easy to point out that bruce had just said he didn't know how he could trust damian when he won't listen. perhaps damian is tired, because he doesn't see the point in futile arguments. )

I am never tired. ( both arms raise, crossing over his chest before his chin tips up so it's very obvious he's looking right to bruce's hairline. ) Maybe you should get back to your nap before the rest of your hair falls out.

[ For now the tension feels dissipated. And maybe they can get back to some sort of normal now. As normal as Etraya will allow them to be.

He'll have to get the hair taken care of now. It won't spare him any teasing once the other kids get a look at him, but it's better than what he's got now. And he can't stay holed up in the safehouse forever. They'll come looking for him, just like Damian had. ]

Maybe I should. You're resetting the security on your way out, right?

I -

( he takes a moment to consider it. the very obvious answer of of course i will versus what he actually wants to do. damian cuts himself off, presses his lips together for a moment before he asks, almost hesitantly - )

Can I stay?

[ Bruce doesn't expect the ask. Eventually, yes. But not right now. He won't say no. He'd never say no to that. ]

You can stay.

Then I will stay.

( even if he - feels a little awkward about it and it's obvious from how he steps back from the window and takes a moment to look around the room itself.

then back to bruce. )

Why are you staying here?

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