theknightshift | inbox (etraya)

[ Secretly? Bruce is relieved. Jason's answer could have very easily changed the trajectory of this conversation. Falling, he could deal with. The Joker? Was not a fight he was looking forward to rehashing. ]

Why did you fall?

[Jason levels his gaze at Bruce.]

Why does it matter?

I am trying to understand you and what happened to you.

[ He's got enough for an educated guess, but having more to go on wouldn't hurt. ]

[Jason doesn’t quite believe Bruce, but he is out here in the woods trying.]

I got kidnapped by Deathstroke. Dropped off a building.

[ That's...a deviation. One to especially note. Deathstroke is the source of the nightmares. And the nightmares are the reason Bruce benched him. Called him a mistake. Fired him. Left him to languish on his own. Where did the Joker fit in? Did he fit in? Had all of this put Jason on that terrible collision course? ]

You were afraid.

[ It almost sounds like a question, but really it's Bruce putting the pieces together. Seeing the picture for what it was. ]

[Jason looks down at the ground but nods all the same. Fear had driven him into Crane’s arms, to hate the belfry.]

Yeah.

[ Bruce shifts where he sits, turns his body toward Jason, so when he looks up, he'd see him clearly. He isn't turning away. He's turning his back on this kid for being afraid. ]

Fear is a tool. Like any other in your belt. That means you control it. Don't let it control you.

Easy for you to say.

[Jason shakes his head at Bruce.]

What do you have to be afraid of?

[ People dying, people he loves. Or they leave him. Or they come back and hate him to the very core of him. Not being good enough. Strong enough. Fast enough.

Briefly, he thinks about Sam Kristoff, dying alone in that tunnel. ]

Plenty.

[Jason scoffs dismissively.]

You have a whole belfry behind you.

Jason, I can't promise what will happen when you get home. But while you're here, you are one of us. Let us help you.

I am not one of you. [Jason replies sharply.] You all made that very clear.

I haven't made anything clear except that I want to help you.

[ Bruce, unfazed by the sharp turn in Jason's tone, takes another bite of his hotdog. ]

How would you even help me? Draw me in close just to reject me? Call me 'son' and then a 'mistake' all in the same 36 hours?

[Jason crosses his arms.]

That's all I ever am: a mistake.

[ Bruce says nothing else. Just takes the last few bites of his hotdog then gets to his feet. ]

Jason, I've never given you a reason to believe that's how I see you. You're insisting on things I never said. Blaming me for motives that are not mine. Learn to tell the difference between me and the man you know where you're from and maybe we can try again.

[ With that, he turns to go. ]

[As Bruce turns, Jason panics. No, he can’t do this again.]

Don’t go.

[His voice is tight with fear.]

Look. I’m. I’m trying to get used to this shit. [He sucks in a breath.] And I’m really good at pushing people away.