[Its hard to believe him, when Jason feels like he’s always being hunted, when Jason always feels like he’s one decision away from being locked up in the cave for the rest of his life.]
[ You still are sit on his tongue, caught on the edges of his teeth. He wants to say it to reassure Jason that that part of their relationship had never ended, even after his death. But he cannot bring himself to. Not yet. ]
[Maybe this is the first time that Bruce has ever asked that, and that's why Jason looks up, then, that's why Jason lets the hydraulic lift the front of his mask away. He's still wearing a domino, because he's a dramatic little shit, but there's his face.
It's right there, and there's something young on his face, like maybe he's actually being listened to.]
Because as long as it's there, I can't have a relationship with you that doesn't revolve around my death.
[It's as honest as he can manage and it almost feels like he's choking to get the words out.]
[ Silence follows. Bruce cannot bring himself to argue against Jason's reason, even if every part of him rails against it. Jason's death would haunt him whether the memorial existed or not. Bruce couldn't look at Jason without seeing the boy he'd failed in so many ways. He turns his head to look at him, to see the young man under the helmet. It was good to see his face again, even if the moment felt too heavy for Bruce to carry.
He reaches for his grapple, prepares to pull himself away, so he can sit with this moment alone. ]
I'll tell Alfred to put it away.
[ Maybe not as gone as Jason would have liked, but it would be put out of sight. ]
[Theres a pause and Jason stands up, and maybe this is too much, maybe this is too fast, but he can't not acknowledge that. He reaches for Bruce, then, reaches for a hug.]
B.
[He's almost Bruce's size now; they're both big men. But he feels small, like he's twelve again, and Bruce is here to keep him safe, at least for now.]
[ The hug is unexpected and for a moment, Bruce doesn't seem to know what to do with himself. It feels like it is happening too fast, but it's been such a long time coming. Maybe it shouldn't have taken them this long to get here, but they are here now.
Bruce drops the grappling gun and wraps his arms around Jason. ]
I know I've let you down. But, you're still my son. I hope that still means something to you.
[He just holds him for a long moment, his eyes shut tight. He thinks that his whole (current) life he wanted Bruce to kill the Joker, but right now he realizes that was never true.
Those words mean more than that. I know I've let you down, the closest that Bruce can get to an apology without actually saying the words.]
[ He knows. He's not an easy man to love or to even get along with. Alfred is always encouraging him to be more open with the kids, to stop shutting out the people who love him. But Batman is solitary, even when he's surrounded by affection and warmth. It's easier to push it away than it is to embrace it. ]
I know.
[ His laugh is quiet, a puff of air that disappears into the night sky. He wants to ask what happens now. If they'll go up or down or stay right here in this limbo. Had they finally reached the end of the spiral? He lets Jason go and bends to pick up his grapple. ]
[Jason doesn’t take that as offensive, which he might have an hour ago, when he was prickly and unhappy and ready to fight. Now he just dips his head a little.]
It’s my home.
[Jason has been Gotham his whole life; he and this city are linked in ways that even Bruce isn’t, he thinks. Leaving has happened but he doesn’t really like to leave. He has to be pushed. Or pulled.
[ No where. Bruce would never have sent him away anywhere. If Jason ever leaves, he tells himself it's always Jason's choice. Never mind that Bruce might be the one pushing him. Especially if he feels like Jason isn't following his rules.
But we're not going down that line of thought. They're not fighting and Bruce would like to keep it that way. ]
Good. [ A pause and then: ] Hungry? There's a Big Belly Burger nearby.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ Maybe any other time, his answer would have been sharp. It lingers instead. It's not soft. There's a sense of resignation with it. He's tired too. ]
I never regretted trusting you. Not for a moment. [ he looks over at Jason then looks away again. ] We don't have to be like this.
no subject
You keep saying that.
[Its hard to believe him, when Jason feels like he’s always being hunted, when Jason always feels like he’s one decision away from being locked up in the cave for the rest of his life.]
I’ll give you-
[He sighs]
I don’t know. What do you want?
no subject
You don't have to fight with me. Just stop fighting against me.
no subject
He can’t say that.]
I was supposed to be your son.
[He tilts his head down to look at the city.]
Getting rid of that stupid memorial isn’t fighting you.
no subject
Why is this so important to you?
no subject
It's right there, and there's something young on his face, like maybe he's actually being listened to.]
Because as long as it's there, I can't have a relationship with you that doesn't revolve around my death.
[It's as honest as he can manage and it almost feels like he's choking to get the words out.]
no subject
He reaches for his grapple, prepares to pull himself away, so he can sit with this moment alone. ]
I'll tell Alfred to put it away.
[ Maybe not as gone as Jason would have liked, but it would be put out of sight. ]
no subject
B.
[He's almost Bruce's size now; they're both big men. But he feels small, like he's twelve again, and Bruce is here to keep him safe, at least for now.]
no subject
Bruce drops the grappling gun and wraps his arms around Jason. ]
I know I've let you down. But, you're still my son. I hope that still means something to you.
thank u for your patience ;;
Those words mean more than that. I know I've let you down, the closest that Bruce can get to an apology without actually saying the words.]
You're an asshole.
[Which means: yes, that means a lot, thanks dad.]
of course <3!
I know.
[ His laugh is quiet, a puff of air that disappears into the night sky. He wants to ask what happens now. If they'll go up or down or stay right here in this limbo. Had they finally reached the end of the spiral? He lets Jason go and bends to pick up his grapple. ]
Are you staying in Gotham?
no subject
It’s my home.
[Jason has been Gotham his whole life; he and this city are linked in ways that even Bruce isn’t, he thinks. Leaving has happened but he doesn’t really like to leave. He has to be pushed. Or pulled.
He shrugs.]
Where else would I go?
no subject
But we're not going down that line of thought. They're not fighting and Bruce would like to keep it that way. ]
Good. [ A pause and then: ] Hungry? There's a Big Belly Burger nearby.