He doesn't know what he wants. He wants Bruce to want him, and he wants Bruce to leave, and he wants Bruce to apologize, and he wants Bruce to leave. He feels hysterical, like he's lost himself completely, furious and tired, and he hits Bruce again, in the shoulder, and then his arms are around him.]
[ Jason's arms around him feel like a reprieve, warmth he doesn't deserve. he doesn't know what to do with his arms until he settles into the hug and wraps them around Jason and he takes the moment to relish it. In case Jason decides he's had enough and pushes him away. ]
[ He should go. This is what he wanted after all. But he stands here instead, arms around Jason like he's the last good thing on earth. It's done if he let's go and they'll never be like this again. It isn't fair to say he isn't sorry when remorse fills him up like water.
He exhales. ]
I am, Jason. I regret every pain I've ever caused you.
[ Even if he's not believed, Bruce means every word. He drops a kiss on his forehead. And then takes a step back. Jason wants him to leave. He should go. ]
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He doesn't know what he wants. He wants Bruce to want him, and he wants Bruce to leave, and he wants Bruce to apologize, and he wants Bruce to leave. He feels hysterical, like he's lost himself completely, furious and tired, and he hits Bruce again, in the shoulder, and then his arms are around him.]
You're so goddamned stupid.
no subject
[ Jason's arms around him feel like a reprieve, warmth he doesn't deserve. he doesn't know what to do with his arms until he settles into the hug and wraps them around Jason and he takes the moment to relish it. In case Jason decides he's had enough and pushes him away. ]
no subject
You should leave.
[He is still holding onto Bruce, like this is the last time that he'll do it; he feels like it is. He feels like if he lets go, this will be over.
Maybe it should be. Bruce is too stupid for this relationship. He's just going to hurt Jason over and over again.]
B.
You're not even sorry.
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He exhales. ]
I am, Jason. I regret every pain I've ever caused you.
[ Even if he's not believed, Bruce means every word. He drops a kiss on his forehead. And then takes a step back. Jason wants him to leave. He should go. ]
no subject
[He pulls away; he moves to the other side of the room, to the computer. He picks it up and hands it to Bruce.]
Right?
no subject
No.
[ He takes the computer, tucks it under his arm. ]
There are a lot of things I would do differently.